20 'til infinity
Self,
Always be grateful. Be grateful when things are going good. Health is wealth—there is no hierarchy in your physical, mental, and spiritual/emotional health they’re all equally important-- Be balanced. Anticipate the pain of change--Its gon’ hurt accept it. Anticipate triggers. You're gonna’ fail more times than you succeed. You can only win greatly, if you dare greatly. Persevere through the mind trickery your thoughts will play on you to do less and convince you--you shouldn't or you can't. Be intentional. Be determined. Do what's hard when it's easy. Be deliberate in feeding yourself positive thoughts—don’t let your mind wander. Acknowledge triggers. Watch your mouth—watch the words you say to yourself. Expect. Own your thoughts or they’ll own you. Tell yourself you’re proud of yourself—celebrate your own accomplishments big or small it’s no one else’s responsibility to do so. People won’t go out of their way to build you up the way they do to tear you down—niggas don’t got the same energy to celebrate you the way they do when they criticize you. Rule number 1-- be your biggest fan. Say “Good things are supposed to happen to me(you).” Don't be consumed with the fickleness of your emotions, and ride the waves of life. Be encouraged by the opportunities you can create for your life. Be a warrior scholar by not only exercising your body, but also your mind—don’t ever think you’ve arrived or you’re too old to learn something new.
Continue to read even things that are in opposition of your current perspectives. All any of us can do at the end our life is ask “did I use what I was given?” “Did I work to cultivate that gift?” “Did I take time to figure what I (we) have an innately inclined ability to do?” or “Did I simply put the work in to cultivate a passion?” Continue to learn, continue to be a student of your craft and of yourself. Continue to pliable about the ways and methods in which you think you have available to earn a living. Use all the new tools as opportunities to build, not to become complacent. Internally and professionally you adapt or die, its grow or die. Growing old is blessing not afforded to everyone. Be flexible in your own beliefs about life and yourself. Continue to evolve and refine. Remember there is nothing about a caterpillar that tells you it’s gonna be a butterfly. Strive for progress and not perfection--so called perfectionist label themselves as such to mask their fear of failing. So they(we) wait and wait and say it's not ready--and that's becomes never. Don’t let failures or embarrassment change how you feel about yourself. There's always someone doing more with less. Every desire--ambition in life requires a different version of yourself. Its levels to this--learn life. The newness of every pursuit will dissipate. Accept that many of us don’t need any more motivation—we NEED discipline and willpower—and to resist the temptation of relapsing back to our former habits. Endure. Habits don't care if they're good or bad constructive or destructive--we are our habits. Your Savior is in the Mirror. No one is coming to save you. The savior is self. You’re never “broke” you’re overcoming a cash flow problem. Be willing to sacrifice daily comforts such as getting extra sleep. The comfort of the devil you know--the mundane routines we've developed leading to nowhere fast. Understand there’s a lot of monotony in growth—it’s boring. Work on mental and emotional endurance while on your path in achieving your goals, and in life in general. The further you trek down the road the more tempted you’ll be to look backwards. Stay focused. No reckless eye-ballin'. We(I) too often do too much caring and comparing on other people situation -- focus on ya own shit. Exercise anti-hesitation. Anti-judgment. Ask, don't assume. You never have anything to lose. You're built for everything you asking for and the game(life) is gon test you to see if you really want what you claim. Understand money is a tool not a source of happiness. Internal brokenness can’t be fixed through acquisition. Most times all you gotta do is outlast people--they gon fall off. Consistency over everything. People can't get anywhere fast enough--just look driving down the highway the speed limit already 70mph--niggas still speeding. Take a step towards your vision daily. Self-love is the best love. Love your alleged flaws love whatever you see in the mirror cause that's all you gon' see anyways--unless you Ashlee Simpson fixing her nose, which was one the mid-2000s greatest feats, but I digress.
Stop being infiltrated by unsolicited opinions. Think your own thoughts—stop takin’ suggestions. Start—be willing to fail. It’s just life. Keep being told NO, if you campaign long enough you’ll be elected. Be Water. Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless like water. Water becomes whatever it consumes--you become whatever you consume--flow. (Bruce Lee seemed like a cool nigga)
The things you(I) need to do daily is gonna suck most days, but do it anyways. tighten up youngin'. 😫 Any failure means you risked failing. Accept the road to the life you want will be LONELY. Your journey is yours and yours ONLY—NOONE can walk it for you. It NEVER matters how long it takes--just get there. You can’t continue to double-dutch between your old habits and the new habits you need to implement to get where you wanna be.
"Say I." I must take ownership for my insecurities and how I've allowed them to convince me I am less than and prevented me from pursuing some of my desires professionally and personally with an assertiveness and vigor that’s necessary. Somewhere along this road I allowed the words of the world and others to set the barometer for Me. “Nobody built like you HOV--you designed yaself.” Someone can't do something themselves they try n tell you--you can't do it. “He really made that lil boy throw that basketball over the fence, but I digress.”
Whether you are responsible for creating the pain or not you're (I) responsible for healing it. You gotta be willing to look your fears, past hurts, shortcomings, hoodrats n’ hoodwolves, non-believers, daily challenges--in the face like Colin Sexton did that boi at the free throw line.
The only goals in life is to be suckafree, non-judgmental towards other, don't project any assumptions on others, remain honest and thorough at all costs regardless of whom you (I) stand before. Be genuine when giving to others—Be willing to live with the decisions you make—Be righteous. Exercise courage at all times if you (I) ever feel the urge to feel small and give a fuck about any opinions of others--fuck em. Be as delusionally unbothered by criticism as Trump. The only limitations you(I) have are those you place on yourself. Do You. Anything is achievable if you commit, you persevere and are consistent. Do not let the world tell you who you are. “If you ain't the shit to yaself then you ain't to nobody else” -- even though your thoughts of yourself are the only that matter. You ain't gotta like me, I like me (r.i.p Bernie Mac) --Stay solid. Be unfazed with hurdles along your journey. Don’t take yourself so seriously. Be obliviously confident, persistent and determined in your pursuits as Steve Urkel was in winning the affections of Laura Winslow even though she didn't deserve him. Be unconcerned with momentary embarrassment—You win some, you lose some--the fear of rejection professionally or personally or of inadequacy or ruffling feathers and making people uncomfortable. Fear isn't real-- the expiration date on your experience in this life is--do what the fuck ignites your soul. You’ll only regret passions un-pursued and words left unsaid. Validation is for parking—Validate YOURSELF. Eagerly be the burner of unhealthy bridges-- don't care if its Ruby Bridges, Todd Bridges or if yo’ granny standing on the other side if she talkin' that shit --burn that motherfucker to the ground. Do not concern yourself with the opinions of other men or of women not fucking you. People only see "it” when others do--most people are sheep. They(we) too often aren’t willing to do the research, and accept whatever is said or presented to them(us) as fact. Listen to your own intuition it has never lead you wrong. My response to all unasked opinions is— “AND.” Continue to walk toward your light and stand with your head held high with whatever shadows(darkness) of yourself that light shines on. Remember butterflies cannot see their wings. Be as audacious as that nigga runnin' round claiming to be a doctor--don't settle don't apologize.
Do not be mad about results you don't have with work you haven't done. Its ok to take yourself seriously in regards to your goals. Too often we want to fast forward to the finish line for recognition, bouquet of flowers, and applause. Stop tryna avoid the pain and challenges of the journey, find short cuts, seeking the road of least resistance. Niggas love being the first through the door—the first to experience something new or acquire something, but not to share the acquired knowledge, but to be like “nigga you ain’t made it yet?” “Spent $400 bucks on this, just to be like nigga you ain’t up on this—ass niggas.” You’ll be surprised what people are willing to help you with if you ask. Purge ego--no one owes you anything. Many people don’t become successful because their pride won’t allow themselves to be seen “starting from the bottom.” They are unwilling to suck at a new endeavor. Don’t define your success by these materialistic things we strive so hard for as human beings. Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal.
You don't OWN anyone you only experience them(🏁) Turbulence is the price you pay for flying high. Be true to yourself, be available to those who reciprocate your energy, frequency and your endeavors. Don't withhold the knowledge you acquire remain steadfast, keep an open mind, don't stop loving love--don’t stop believing in life and yourself & NEVER let hoe ass niggas ride.
Be bold. Stop looking for guarantees you won’t find any in this life—stop waiting for someone else do something first maybe it’s meant for you to blaze a new trail. What you won’t do another man will. Be assertive, have initiative if you see something that needs to be done do it. Stop selling yourself short. Keep being told NO. As a man thinketh in his heart so is he—you’ll never out live your belief system. If you think you can do anything then keep seeking ways to prove it to yourself. Everything begins with an idea—Your behaviors will always mirror your internal beliefs. Act as if is impossible to fail. Master yourself. Be audacious and think bigger. Thoughts are FREE. Separation is in the preparation. Nothing has ever stopped anyone who wanted to do something in life. Protect your energy—don’t allow yourself to be available easily accessible to everyone.
If you want a meeting with any CEO of company there’s protocol in doing so— first call his secretary, manager, personal assistant, agent or all the aforementioned--then express the nature of the potential meeting, then he(she) decides if; one its worth the time, and if so-- if it aligns with their(CEO) schedule. Treat your life as such—You’re the CEO of your life.
Forgive your parents they're only people. They did the best they could with the tools they acquired. We've inherited a lot of unhealed trauma you don’t just inherit looks you inherit the bullshit too. Moving forward we not passing on "because I said so" ideology and because I pay the bills it gives me(parents) license to be disrespectful, belligerent and dismissive to these babies(children)--that’s obsolete now. Forgive yourself. Be proud of what you've accomplished despite of all of this. Yet be willing to sit in the mess you made--we are the authors of many of our problems. Endure the discomfort from withdrawals from those poor habits and thoughts you allowed to manifest over time.
This year, this decade—2020 ‘til Infinity we NOT holding onto the plug--if I have a resource for someone else to help assist in their progress I'm giving it away. Their success is not my failure and vice versa. We givin’ unsolicited compliments. We screaming from the mountain tops professing our love for our women even if it’s annoying like Chance the Rapper’s “The Big Day” album. We encouraging each other. We flying to foreign countries. We're ascending to new heights and when our feet touch down on foreign soil and we say "I want some “cocaine & pussy" the only answer we want to hear is "of course." We're no longer carrying the scarcity one seat at the table mentality—the damn soon as I get to the party all hoes n wings are gone--the well won't dry up when we arrive--the success we desire is ours and is waiting for us. What is meant for us, won’t miss us. We living in our truth like “B Rabbit” did. We not arguing with these hoes why we not dating them with these damn weaves, lace-fronts, and Hawaiian silkies. We not gon’ let them crab leg and alfredo us to death. Being loud, belligerent, and combative—talkin’ over people don’t make you strong. We all know being loud is how hood-rats call for backup. We finally gon’ listen to lil’ Duval and not goin’ back n’ forth with these niggas—especially online. We no longer explaining Nigger vs. Nigga—I don’t care how good you dance—you not comin’ to the cookout. We praising these babies for their gifts beyond athleticism, and physical attractiveness. We not kicking kids out the house at 18 throwing them in the world blind cause you broke--after not teaching them tangible skills they can monetize for themselves and leaving their education in the hands of the same inept school systems we went to. We NOT gon’ be desperate—we hiring attorneys—Not knowing is NO LONGER an excuse for signing bad contracts. We not lettin’ niggas get away with immoral, disingenuous, and unethical business practices in the name of “it just business.” We making unannounced miraculous comebacks from depressions, anxiety, self-deprecating thoughts, pity parties like DJ Envys & Tory Lanez hairlines.
We movin’ on from childhood adolescent labels--No more you "too this, too that"--I am what I am. We've allowed niggas to label us for long enough--We forgive them they had a nigga(you) fucked up. Forgive yourself you heard these things so long you started to walk in it. Unsubscribe from these characters. Stop playin’ these roles. Start where you are, and begin to improve where you see necessary--We not above reproach we'll continue to work on self and be open to constructive feedback. We're takin better care of our temples exercising, eating cleaner diets, and losing weight--yet not to the point where we walkin’ around with a Rottweiler head on a Doberman pinscher body like Al Sharpton.
Yo grandmama said you talk too much, you a lazy scoundrel, fix ya face, too mean, ya just like ya daddy, ya too fass because you wear your hair down, too aggressive, you don't know what you doin’, you too loud, niggas (the streets & these hoes) laughed at yo glasses, yo big nose, yo lil booty, bein from Baltimore and you say “yew and tew”, said you too quiet, too silly, too shy, sensitive, too _____________. Too funky--if ‘ya stank wash ‘ya ass ain’t no way around it. Called you ugly--ladies ain't no one gon’ love n fuck you like a ugly nigga--but I digress.
We teachin’ these babies how to make money WITHOUT exchanging their time for pennies on the dollar. EVERY company is filled with incompetence and employees that make you wonder what dirt they have hanging over the employer’s head that assisted in their hiring. Develop a ruling class mentality. People gon' fuck with you or they not. We’re not concerning ourselves with requited love, validation, acknowledgement of our gifts and art—We setting our prices for our talents and we standing firm on them. Those who recognize will receive the fruits of our wisdom, talents & presence. Why withhold any greatness we have within ourselves? We givin’ without expectation of reciprocity. We gon’ be willing to start our own tables. We givin’ ourselves the freedom to change our minds, and not answer any questions about our decisions like Rihanna and this mufuggin’ album. We singin out loud even it sounds horrible like Justin Beiber singing “Never would’ve Made it.” Our art is finished when it's done. We not being rude and insufferable at restaurants and fast food spots--let these niggas make they $8.25 in peace. We gon’ stop ordering this lemon pepper whet shit. We gon’ stop actin’ like seafood is fine dining. We not being too cool—Too cool to call or text first, admit being wrong, saying how we feel, acknowledging other people’s exceptional works in our respective crafts. We workin’ on our patience. Exercising more discipline, more willpower—abstaining from the thoughts, people, habits holding us back, more audaciousness we're already qualified. We writing better comeback stories in our lives than GucciMane.
We're ONLY staying loyal to the frequency, the vibration, that breeds prosperity, longevity, health, wealth, life changing creative ideas, peace and contentment--No longer being indebted to people for the sake of how long we've known them or by blood. Have integrity and be principled—develop a code and stand on it. If the people close to you fall short; niggas and hoes gotta go. All that weakass hatin’, dry snitching, disingenuous energy is a violation. Niggas and hoes who only wanna link up to spend money gettin’ ghosted, curved n’ left on read. We moving on n' lettin’ go--if you wasn’t here before it, yo call I ignore it. Wearing Unbothered by Omarion ‘til further notice.
Remember its always your fault even when it’s not-- only thing you can control is your work ethic, your thoughts, & those you surround yourself with. Stop stuttering say what you feel—say it with your chest, keep yo’ head up and stand on your words and what’s on your heart and what it’s gon be is-- what it’s gon be. If I’ve contradicted myself—I won’t be deleting this later. Steer away from saying things that sound cool around groups of people—niggas be frontin n’ most people don’t exercise the courage to say what they really feel. Stop allowing yo’ niggas to engage in sucka shit. Too often niggas just say what’s already been said—regurgitating the popular opinion and stick they chest out after a nigga already walked through the fire. How I(you) feel about yourself shouldn’t change based the response of others. Your perception of me(you) ain’t got nothing to do with me. The things I struggle with are no better or worse than those of other people. Transition from critiquing yourself to challenging yourself to be consistent and gradually get better and balanced. Continue to be patiently productive. The only thing you really compete with is your ego. Stop spending your dollars where you won't be hired. Choose integrity at all times and at all costs. Stop tryna wear people down --we're not in the business of winning people over—They gon’ fuck with you or not. People will continue to lie to you to continue doing what they’ve been doing. Stop destination chasing--make the best of where you are and use what you have access to. Network across—Shout out to Issa Rae. Being content is not settling. Stop supporting people who only come around when they want you to come outta pocket. If you ain't been around, don't come around.
Never forget someone won with the situation you're complaining about. It's not important to be important but it’s important to be nice. Even more important to be respected and respect yourself above all. Controlling your emotions is not avoiding your emotions. Mind the people who mean you well. Death is only a tragedy if you haven't lived. Energy never dies. Create—once your creation its completed it exists and lives far beyond you. Get back to doing things for the sole purpose of enjoyment. Having hobbies is a forgotten concept. Do things that feed you spirit not only your pockets. The world has always been a dangerous place—live your life. You can enjoy yourself without being reckless. You cannot compartmentalize fear—it will permeate into all facets of your life. Everything out here is a re-run, but ain't no do overs. Be unbothered standing alone in your truth, in your ideals, newly formed outlooks from unlearning what you thought you knew. The illusion of what's to come has entrapped us all. Stop tryin'--do. My plan B is to make my plan A better. Whatever you do its gon come a point whether you have to ask yoself "you cry n' quit or cry n' keep goin?" We always find the time for people we want to be with and find the money to spend that we claim we don't have--don’t be told otherwise. Focus on building a life you can be proud of.
ALL these niggas(politicians) is liars. Fuck Bill Gates, (and I wrote this in Microsoft Word) Fuck Dr. Fauci, Tom Hanks, Hilary Clinton, the niggas who killed Vanessa Guillen, Ellen, all the niggas who shootin & raping kids, I still don’t believe crackheads burned down I-85, most black folks ain’t as liberal as they claim, Will Smith deserves a woman with hips, it’s time for ya’ll tough pistol totin’ thug ass niggas to stand up—I done heard you rap niggas talk about how you gon’ bust these slugs at my dome piece and turn my cabbage into coleslaw for 25 years, Diddy need to give Mase back his publishing, Kevin Durant is the best player in the world, if you don’t gotta auntie that look like Trick daddy cookin’ the food Ion want it, Hot 97 knew about Paddy Duke Ion care what they say, what has the democratic party done for you lately? Why the Asians don’t be pressed to vote? The breakfast club didn’t have the same energy with Joe Biden that they had with Angela Stanton-King, every election they tell you this the election, if Taylor Rooks sell-a-bit I’ll buy a bit, I don’t care bad life gets I’m not gon’ live in Clayton county, the Bronx, or Florida, I hope ya’ll niggas find new words other than toxic and normalize, Yum Yum sauce is nasty, I remember ya’ll old niggas sayin’ Bill Clinton was the first black president cause he played the saxophone n’ got head at work—I remember, ladies yo’ nigga ugly if you ain’t seen him without that beard, stop goin’ to Lake Lanier, Jagged Edge won they verzuz battle—shrugs, my momma used to look at me like Teddy Riley in the verzuz battle when she couldn’t understand my homework as a kid, If ya’ll wanna sell WAP just say it, abortion is murder, Drain the swamp, Nick Cannon didn’t tell a lie, black folks its ok to admit Hennessy is nasty, we don’t need a “black” version of every white film or tv show, Drake ain’t made a great album without the Weekend, BLM is fake, all deez niggas is pedos. Save the children. They were raping girls in that school Oprah built in South Africa but ya’ll don’t wanna talk bout dat, Make three verse songs great again. Do what the fuck you want—fuck who don’t like it or you—you ain’t gotta like me, I like me.
*90% my own words, I write in rap lyrics. * I only sought to acknowledge. Accept. Create. Laugh at myself. I wrote this in January in hopes of great year feeling stagnant as a ride share driving picking up hitchhikers. Smh. (Mentions) Chad Butler. Les Brown, Dom Kennedy. Nipsey Hussle. Gerald. Suga Free. Cyhi. Earl Nightingale, Justin Scott, Zo Williams & whomever else said something that resonated with me.
Peace.
~Mackaveli Meezy